Chump of the Month: Joe Dirt

Here Ye Here Ye, Haters!

"...There are some phrases too foul to blog, some names too wretched to post..." 

Dear Screen-Gazers, 

As you surely know, AH HOLE does its best to pervert sense and sensibility into exuberant jive every day of the goddamn motherfucking cocksucking tittyslapping lesbolovin hog-roasting get out and voting weedsmoking weak. Though this goal cannot, and should not, always be met, we endeavor to vandalize your computer as much as bloggable from the remote handicap of our Luddite fingertips ('just the tips'-- have you tried KFC'S new Dip'ems? 'Just The Dip' EAT ME!) 

Anyoldways, listen: We're "here" today to bring you a CHUMP. Unfortunately in so doing we are entering an uncomfortable, and all too familiar domain of the sincerest insincerity (otherwise known as the New Millenium). Web Warriors though we are, it pains us to inaugurate JOE DIRT (2001) as November's Chump... Indeed it hurts us deeply to bring him/it up at all and we feel, rightly, ashamed and embarassed... though also vaguely aroused (what's up with this?) Oh Gosh it's just one of those things... why do we hate Joe Dirt? Because it represents failure winning, but in the safest, cleanest way possible. In fact it represents exactly what it i$: winning winning a$ u$ual... boring unin$pired garbage $poofing it$ own junk...We relate to this, but also take grievous offence. 

Here @ A.A., we're always delighted to call the kettle black, to call a Spade a Spade and we sincerely consider hall-of-famer David an honarary AH HOLE brethren...but really D.S? Were you so seasick from risidual Y2K toxic-shock that you found it necessary to break all your eggs in the basket-shaped-wig of laughterless laughter that is the word "mullet"? The resulting scramble is not a good look and, like sweatshops, we honestly wish it didn't exist. We wish it didn't exist and yet can imagine no alternative... J.D. is but a mutated birth in an unfolding everything... It makes us sad, it makes us happy. Is it a prank? We are the B.F.R (Bushwick Feminst Ragers) We are riding the blog wave. We are kinda rollerblading and skatboarding at the same time up Cody's Crapshoot, YEEEHAW! Detour onto Bushwick Abelow! It's odd-- but hot enough for a comical one night stand... sort of like when you go "I love you baby" even though you just met and you mean it with all your heart, of course.