Here's a riddle that will have you stumped FOREVER: what do you do if you're not a lesbian? 

We know, we know, most of you are stoked. Sure, it gets a little hectic, but chill. Treat yourself. We know, gay, straight, or bi, you'd rather be drinking a cappuccino. Come on, it's tru. We KNOW how much you LOVE experiences. I don't care what colour or creed you are, experiences are really cool. In fact, experience is so cool,  after blogging this I am going to take a little nap in the middle of Bushwick Ave. Why not? So many birds w. 1 stone! If you think I'm one toke over the line, you're right. 

But seriously, why not? 
I'm sensing a major void here, ppl. I am facing the fact that hunks are a myth. I don't even like the word "hunk" i just like that it rhymes with "month."Which reminds me of something else I hate:  I hate when dads think they're total geniuses because they can rhyme a few words. Great, now I'm thinking about dads which is possibly the most purely boring subject 
on earth. 

Listen, there are things more boring even than "daddy issues"-- At least the aesthetic of daddy issues is vaguely titillating... garish, sexed-up, polyester... We'd take this look over someone with GRANNY ISSUES any day! You know who you are... But back to our MIA hunk. Vote: NOBODY FOR HUNK '13.