Look guys I'm a designer, okay? Lesson #1. Food is hot right now. Alright? Wake up and smell the beautiful rubber Alessi oven mitt removing your perfect head from the oven*. So what if I meant bread? What are words? I'd take a tasting menu any day. But I'm bored... I hate these gays who go out to eat just to talk about eating, it's VERY gay. Anyway I'm so sickntired of these narrow-minded "bars" and "restaurants"... what century are we in again? GET A LIFE. 

Moreover, do you think I care to consider the fact that for every spoonful of chowder, every "divine mouthful" of mascarpone, there is a calf mooing plaintively within the lonely confines of his motherless pen? As a matter of fact, I DO. Think, people, THINK.  Lesson #2. If you are sunburned from Art Basel Miami, Fuck Me Now. Lesson #3. There is a rapper out there...who shall not be named.  #4. *Did you know that I'm designing a smell everything app? If you have a nose but want more, this app is for you. Much like life itself, it will have upsides and downsides.