Don't think these AH HOLES didn't see the way your initial wince was replaced with an irritated grimace as you read the name of April's Hunk. . . Don't think your presently neutral face can take back the involuntary expression that broke across it upon contact with those two little words, "Marvin" and "Gaye." Dear reader, that expression spoke volumes, and we were not immune to its meaning.

It said, unmistakably, "It's official, I hate these ironic shitbags and their stupid fucking blog." But listen, before you blow your cap, we implore you to stop projecting, it's never too late! In plain ing├ęs: we are not the ironic shitbags, you are. You are also the one with the stupid blog but we won't go into that now... it doesn't matter, only this matters, this conflict, this Hunk of The Month that you scoff at because you (rightly) associate him with slow jams and figure that joking about slow jams is outdated; gone with the hipsters and their heinous neons and ironic Nike clothing. "We are in a recession," you think, running an aggressive hand through your SS style haircut, "and here these idiot bloggers are thinking they're so hilarious making a Hunk out of Marvin Gaye. Well 'HA HA', not." You think, perhaps, we've got one foot in "Twenty Eleven" and two big butts back in, oh, say, two thousand and eight. Well take it easy on the criticism dear, esteemed reader-- we are all sensitive people, after all! However, though your judgment of us stings, the courage born of a righteous soul assuages our insulted AH HOLE like fresh aloe smeared upon a burn.

The thing is, we were getting a tad worried about you. We heard it through the grapevine that you are looking a little "road-hard," a little "rough around the edges." Perhaps it is the ennui, the anorexia, the blogger's lifestyle, or whatever, but it seems you have, like so many these days, fallen ill. It seems you are in need of some kind of medical attention-- though the western doctors in their white jackets with their absurd measurements and gauges will never do... What you need, dear child (may we call you child?) is healing, and we trust that you know exactly what kind of healing we're talking about. So cum on, get it on! Don't hold your feelings back! Like Marvin, let it all out and go Gaye for the day or even (why not) the whole month! Though it may sound queer, that's our diagnosis, straight up, straight forward, straight from the AH HOLE.