Townsville Australia: Birthplace of Whistle-Blower Julian Assange 

WHO IS NEIMA?

BLOG KIDZ

BRAND NEW GALLERY

JOSHUA ABELOW

ABELOW SCHAMBELOW

NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 23, 2012 

OPENING: 
6:30 - 9:00PM, NOVEMBER 22, 2012

"Scene and Herd"

HOW TO CREATE A SURREAL FLYING BRAIN PHOTO MANIPULATION IN PHOTOSHOP

Fashion blogger Lauren Scruggs sensed something bad awaited the day she was injured by a plane propeller.

"what exactly do we mean by 'aesthetics of violence'? For us some adverts, some faces, some expressions, some proximities between products and bodies are unbearably violent."

-Claire Fontaine 

WET BACK WET BACK

"First let me send out a huge FUCK YOU to Artinfo.com for “re-blogging” my “blog.” This isn’t a blog asshole… (I don’t know what the fuck artinfo is so that’s why I’m guessing singular)… It’s “birdtalk.” And I’ve been “birding” since 1990. Check out early issues of Purple Magazine if you don’t believe me. And yes, ‘twitter’ stole my idea and even had the one testicle to use a “bird” as their icon. But did I sue them? No. And why? I don’t believe in copyright. You can take, steal, use, borrow, share and “appropriate” any idea I have and I won’t give a shit. It’s a free concert and I’ve got plenty of ideas. (More where that came from). And why do I “bird”? So I can empty all the stupid crap that piles up in my head before it explodes into fingernails on a blackboard and drives me insane. (I would take drugs again but I’ve got a family to feed). Do I care if anybody reads this shit? Does the Pope Smoke DOPE? No. For all I care, artinfo.com can fuck the horse that I rode in on and fuck the bartender too. So now that that’s out of the way, let’s begin…" 

"Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry"

"Cerebral Showbiz Dramas"

Opening Tonight, 11/10/12

Chump of the Month: Joe Dirt

Here Ye Here Ye, Haters!

"...There are some phrases too foul to blog, some names too wretched to post..." 

Dear Screen-Gazers, 

As you surely know, AH HOLE does its best to pervert sense and sensibility into exuberant jive every day of the goddamn motherfucking cocksucking tittyslapping lesbolovin hog-roasting get out and voting weedsmoking weak. Though this goal cannot, and should not, always be met, we endeavor to vandalize your computer as much as bloggable from the remote handicap of our Luddite fingertips ('just the tips'-- have you tried KFC'S new Dip'ems? 'Just The Dip' EAT ME!) 

Anyoldways, listen: We're "here" today to bring you a CHUMP. Unfortunately in so doing we are entering an uncomfortable, and all too familiar domain of the sincerest insincerity (otherwise known as the New Millenium). Web Warriors though we are, it pains us to inaugurate JOE DIRT (2001) as November's Chump... Indeed it hurts us deeply to bring him/it up at all and we feel, rightly, ashamed and embarassed... though also vaguely aroused (what's up with this?) Oh Gosh it's just one of those things... why do we hate Joe Dirt? Because it represents failure winning, but in the safest, cleanest way possible. In fact it represents exactly what it i$: winning winning a$ u$ual... boring unin$pired garbage $poofing it$ own junk...We relate to this, but also take grievous offence. 

Here @ A.A., we're always delighted to call the kettle black, to call a Spade a Spade and we sincerely consider hall-of-famer David an honarary AH HOLE brethren...but really D.S? Were you so seasick from risidual Y2K toxic-shock that you found it necessary to break all your eggs in the basket-shaped-wig of laughterless laughter that is the word "mullet"? The resulting scramble is not a good look and, like sweatshops, we honestly wish it didn't exist. We wish it didn't exist and yet can imagine no alternative... J.D. is but a mutated birth in an unfolding everything... It makes us sad, it makes us happy. Is it a prank? We are the B.F.R (Bushwick Feminst Ragers) We are riding the blog wave. We are kinda rollerblading and skatboarding at the same time up Cody's Crapshoot, YEEEHAW! Detour onto Bushwick Abelow! It's odd-- but hot enough for a comical one night stand... sort of like when you go "I love you baby" even though you just met and you mean it with all your heart, of course. 

Blogging with the punches

Hunk of The Month: HYNEK

$@Pozdravy brown-nosers! What rhymes with "scenic" and is easier on the eyes than any vista you'll ever see? Oui oui weirdos, AH HOLE'S $@Comeback Hunk is none other than kissable cousin and Übermensch
HYNEK ABELOW!

Blog it or not, there's a lot more to H.A. than meets the eye...Translation? Hynek is more than a eurobabe with insanely sassy hair and a rakish grin that will LITERALLY make your heart scream "$@oyvey!" 

He's also a:

  >great dancer, 

          >photogenic guy, &

    >a semi famous

black person back in the oldecountry. 

Allow us to explain... Hynek may not look black, and he's not, not technically, but that 

doesn't stop him from being president our dreams!!!!!!!!!

Too good for this world? Not convinced guys like this actually exist?

exist? We'll be the first to admit that 
Alternative Hunks like Hynek do tend to keep a low profile in exotic destinations far removed from the sneakered footfall of your every-day globe-trotter... So what rhymes
with frog and is arguably the most hoppin metropolis in $@Bohemia Proper? PRAUGE! DOI! We say: take Gay Parie and shove it! New York's $@Sister Sity "Prague" is to "Europe" what "AH HOLE" is to "AH HOLE"!

Now that we're all in the mood for some hard-core sight-seeing, allow us to draw back the curtain upon a mental picture of the domain where flat-out sophistication, whimsical quirk, and brutal totalitarian sexiness meet in a bold, creatively exuberant-- yet responsible-- visual gala of good looks and panache. Observe! The IKEA showroom! We bring this display to mind to underscore the fact that European design has its hand around "HOTT" and won't let go! And with examples like our young Hynek, we're forced to conclude that these $@design-smarts extend a very long way beyond bunk beds and tasteful shelving units! What we are arguing is that Europe has style DIALED... from fashion, to design, to The Euro, to MEN. As an All American Blog, we Salute Europe! But from down our knees where we are also thanking God for creating a 100%2thumbswayupHUNKnamed HYNEK.