PSSSSSST! Hey, rich kids! Hey, "hubba hubba?" Animae anyone? Y2K alloveragain much? Whew! Hey, So You Think You Can Rock This Boat? Ha! AS IF. Just kidding, be my guest. No really, don't be shy... Mmm, feels good, riiight there...Oh cute they're taking pictures of us. Uh, not fair! Unflattering! Um delete this instant, delete, delete! Obviously looked way better than that, delete please. Hey, I said delete. If this "photographer" wasn't mom, I'd punch the guy right where it hurts...



Hey! Look over there! It's Drake! Was that or was that not Drake? Ok, fine, so you hate me now... too many pranks... Well, how about you talk to the headache cause the hangover don't givea damn! But seriously, seriously picture this: SURPRISE! It's a super high-tech Kindle! HAZAH!


So tell me, was this device in your stocking on the night of December the 24th? Come on, everyblogger's doing it. Ok, The Right to Remain Gay, fair enough. Well was it in mine? I said, was it in my stocking? Please stop playing these mind games. P.S. It also hurts my feelings when you call me "a bitch." Clearly you ought to just go ahead and be my boss-- the way you order me around and don't give me any special brownie-points. I'll be here waiting, here on the loveseat with this lousy Margaret Atwood novel, "Catseye," which, as it so happens, I'm tearing thru. It's about a lady painter-- not that you'd understand. Oh, and by the way, the dot com bubble burst thirteen years ago, Big Guy, so maybe it's time for some new excuses.